Things are going great right now, considering. Tamara is gearing up for yet another round of chemo treatments, numerous lab visits and the dreaded poking of the skin with needles; But somehow through it all, she continues to wake each morning with a beautiful smile. I say somehow she gets through it all, but truth is, I know how she does it. The wonderful friends, family, acquaintances and believers, most not knowing each other, but coming together in prayers, thoughts, get well wishes, cards and phone calls. This is how you get through. You have heard us all, Joe, me, Tamara, Tara and Joseph say over and over how appreciative we are for your caring. Thank you is not enough but its hard to put into words our true feelings. I'm not going to lie. Its not all peachy all the time, just because we are believers. I asked Tamara recently "now be honest with me, how do you really feel?" Tamara replied "mom, it has been so long since I felt good that I don't know what feeling good is really like any more". Now if you knew Tamara, her spirit and the way she shines every day, most people don't believe she is sick, yet she is. There are days when I think I just want to lay in bed and forget the day. But then I make myself get moving because my struggles are minimum to hers. The first thing I do is close my eyes and thank God for another beautiful day. Another breath of fresh air is the unconditional love, understanding, support and more that her siblings have for each other. Not a day goes by that Tara and Tamara don't talk on the phone. Its hard on Tara being away from the family and Tamara especially, during this time. But Tara is such a beautiful sister and she'll never truly understand how that simple little phone call helps Tamara every day. And then of course there's Lucas aka Lukeasaurous or Lukee. He loves his Aunt T so much. He thinks she is his own 2 year old playmate. Talking about being able to put a smile on your face. There's Joseph, my son too. Tamara refers to him as her silent comforter. He doesn't always have a lot to say (unless its about the Rangers or Mavericks and sometimes even the Cowboys), yet he always seems to know what to say at just the right time. Noone can make Tamara laugh more than Joseph. My son-in-law Justin is so wonderful too. There have been times when he could tell Tara needed to come "home" and be with the family and Tamara and he never waivers. He's always ready to pick up the slack for Tara so she can be here when needed. He even took off one day recently to watch all 6 of Tara's Totz for her so she could be gone. I have a wonderful son-in-law. I could go on and on about so many dear and close to Tamara and our family, Carly, Holly, Sarah, Tracy, Erin, Kojo and so many more. The wonderful aunts, uncles, cousins, and most of all grandparents who always have hugs and kisses when needed. That have all been God sent!
Keep your friends close and your family closer. You never know when you might need them. If you are struggling with a family member, I encourage you to do everything possible to put your differences aside. Pick up the phone now, call them and tell them you love'em. Don't let another day go by without telling them you love them. I promise it will be worth the effort.
This note is not about "bragging" on my family. My point is to say no matter what your struggles are today, whether they be family, finances, addictions, work, non-work or your own health issues. There are people out there who really do care. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. There's nothing to be ashamed in asking. You are loved!
In closing let me say this. Facebook is a wonderful thing. Re-connecting with friends from our past is wonderful. I truly enjoy all the class functions, get-togethers, daily updates, post and pictures. It has also been instrumental in visiting with others who are going through difficult times. My classmates at NMHS have lost a lot of friends in the past few years and though we are all spread out across the country, everyone seems to come together even with kind words or post for our fallen friends. One in particular situation was through our dear Loretta Weatherman Mapes. What many of you don't know, in May (a month prior to Loretta's homecoming), Loretta was in Baylor Hospital. Tamara and I were at Baylor for four weeks during that time for chemo. Through facebook, Loretta would send me and Tamara messages, always wanting to know how Tamara and our family were doing. When Tamara would go through what I refer to as "the chemo nap" during treatments, I would quietly slip away and head over to visit with Loretta in her room. She would always pat the bed and tell me to sit next to her so we could talk. I could open up to her about the struggles from a parents point of view. Ask her opinion about how to handle a situation. Talk about chemo and cancer and get information and suggestions that sometimes Tamara may not want to tell me to protect me as her mother. Tamara never got a chance to meet Loretta face-to-face. The week Loretta died, we already had plans to go to her house to visit, but it never happened. Loretta went home, yet those messages through facebook and eventually for me in person were monumental for Tamara and I. Tamara found a friend through facebook that she might not otherwise have had the fortune to meet. Loretta through her messages have a lasting memory on Tamara's heart, someone who also was dealing with what she herself was going through and truly understood. I feel blessed to have had Loretta in my life but more importantly I love facebook and what it represents in keeping communication open for all. Other classmates from DHS, Sandy Baggett Rachels, Norman Boss and others are also living with cancer. Again, the facebook family has brought us all together. Be safe, be strong and be a believer!
Thank you!
