Every time I visit Lubbock, the same scenario unfolds the moment I leave.
I can hear Luke crying through the door of my sister’s house because his little toddler heart doesn’t understand why we have to be separated yet again. By the time I load my luggage in the car, I can hear his infectious laughter return and that’s when my tears start flowing.
It takes every fiber in my body not to race back into the house, pick him up and start watching Ninja Turtles again. Lucas is, by every means, my best friend.
To understand our bond, one would have to know the full scope of the story, from beginning to end. In Luke’s 31 months of life, there’s been more emotion and drama packed into his toddler life…than most people endure during a lifetime.
Lucas was a sick baby and the simple task of drinking milk, his only form of nourishment, required strength. Seldom would it stay down. Within months upon entering the world, there baby Lucas was, lying in the hospital, fighting for his life. But, by no surprise at all, he found a way to persevere and pull through. He was a Fighter; a Survivor.
A little over a year later, in September 2009, it was Lucas who taught me how to combat my own battle.
He was visiting me at home after the start of my chemotherapy treatments and there I lay…motionless on the bed, tears running down my cheeks from long bouts of vomiting, pain radiating through my entire body. Just when I thought life couldn’t get worse…God intervened and orchestrated the perfect moment that redefined how I view life.
Dancing With the Stars was playing in the background and Tara walked in my room with Lucas in her arms and she gently set him on my bed. In normal instances, Luke would bounce up and down while bopping me across the head with a pillow. Yet, this moment was different. He looked at me and could see the pain in my eyes. That’s when he curled up next to me, smiled, and fluttered his long eyelashes. Lucas couldn’t speak sentences…yet, he communicated a decade of his wisdom as his tiny hands caressed my cheeks.
It was then that I learned a valuable lesson: medicine can only get you so far when battling cancer…but, a smile, cheerful heart and meaningful purpose in life is what sustains. Luke’s spirit and zest for life makes me want to live my life through his eyes. I see the world in an entirely different light: weeds are actually beautiful flowers; maybe the moon really is close enough to touch; and perhaps, just perhaps, baby dinosaurs really are walking around Lubbock.
******
When I spend the night with Tara and Justin, we have the same routine. In the mornings, one of them places him in my arms because he’s not quite ready to wake up. Or, he pretends to still be sleepy. Really, I think it’s just his opportunity to pester me without repercussion because he knows Aunt T won’t discipline him. (laughs). In all seriousness, it’s my favorite time with him because Luke will stretch his tiny arms in the sky, let out a itty bitty yawn, and then ask me to hold him. He’s growing at an alarming rate…but it’s moments like this, that I’m reminded he’s still a baby (or ‘big boy’ as he says)!
The other morning Lucas asked me to rub his legs “because they were hurting all night.” I was sad for him…but sad for us, too. The truth is…he’s experiencing growing pains because baby Lucas is growing up before our very eyes. The same infant who couldn’t hold down milk is now gulping (and loudly) water bottles full of liquid. Tara says it all the time – but I agree. Toddlerhood is the best age because you get a mix of both worlds. You watch this tiny little caterpillar evolve into a stunning butterfly whom is ready to fly…but with the support of mommy and daddy. Before we know it…it’ll be time for soccer…and then kindergarten. Until then, we’ll live in the moment…and cherish watching the same annoying cartoons over and over since it’s what makes him happy; laugh at every outlandish temper tantrum; and wake up each morning with a smile on our face…just because Lucas does.
I have so many fun(ny) Luke stories from the past week and I’ll share them in another entry. But, I thought I’d leave you with one of my favorites.
A few months ago Luke freaked out because “he had white on his fingernails!!!” The nail bed had slightly grown out before Tara had a chance to clip them and he discovered that the tip of his nails turned white. Well, on Sunday, while lying in bed, he realized that the palms of his chubby hands are indented with lines. Puzzled, he asked me: “Aunt T, what are these lines?” I showed him that I, too, have them and that Jesus put them there to remind us daily of our future.
“The lines,” I said, while picking up his palm, “Tell your future. It says Jesus will always love you!”
A grin crossed his face. “I can tell your future, too!!” Luke exclaimed, while grabbing my hand! “It says…Santa Claus will always love you!”
