For my normal happy, cheerful self, I am not that today. Maybe tomorrow. Everyone in the house is napping, but my mind is racing so much that I need to write to vent.
8 days ago, our life was normal. In the past 8 days, I found myself in the hospital fighting for my life, my baby lost their life, and tomorrow they are surgically removing my baby. I find myself trying to make sense of it all. What just happened? I have no idea still. The pieces of the past week will come to me. Despite everything, I still love our God. I am angry, yes, but understanding. I trust in His plan more than I have ever trusted in anything in my life. With that being said, it does not mean it makes sense to me by any means.
Tomorrow will be a long day. I cannot come to terms yet with everything, but I know I will have to face that tomorrow. With Justin by my side and my family waiting for me at home, I know the Lord has not abandoned me either. I am just so confused, upset, hurt...
8 days ago, our life was normal. In the past 8 days, I found myself in the hospital fighting for my life, my baby lost their life, and tomorrow they are surgically removing my baby. I find myself trying to make sense of it all. What just happened? I have no idea still. The pieces of the past week will come to me. Despite everything, I still love our God. I am angry, yes, but understanding. I trust in His plan more than I have ever trusted in anything in my life. With that being said, it does not mean it makes sense to me by any means.
Tomorrow will be a long day. I cannot come to terms yet with everything, but I know I will have to face that tomorrow. With Justin by my side and my family waiting for me at home, I know the Lord has not abandoned me either. I am just so confused, upset, hurt...
2 comments:
Tara- There are no words that any of us can say to begin to take the pain away. I will be praying for you, Justin, Lucas and your entire family right now during this loss and will be thinking about you tomorrow during your procedure.
So so so very sorry. What an awful thing to go through. Your faith, however, is uh-mazin!
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