Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philipians 4:6)
Today, I received a text from my sister with the results of her PET scan. My sister is officially in REMISSION. This is huge for her, for her cancer, for our family. I haven't spoken with anyone yet, so I do not know any other details at this moment. But, the only detail I know is that her cancer isn't currently active and that is the most important detail of all.
I think of all the times I have stood next to my sisters side and heard her story. I think of the celebrations of life we have came home to celebrate with her. I think of the days at the hospital, during chemo, during hospital stays etc. I think of the benefits that have been hosted for her and the races, stair climbs, pineapple classic event. I think of the many of hundreds of times I have sat and watched her I AM SECOND video. I remember the 10 months of training it took to complete a half marathon in her honor. I would look at her picture every morning at 5:15am when my alarm went off. I needed no other motivation than that. More than anything, I think of the hours, days, spent in prayer for her and her life. I remember going to our college sorority house, and begging, pleading with our new, young sorority sisters to attend events in her name, to participate in the Pineapple, to keep her in their prayers, to add her to their prayer list. All of those things were worth every second to hear this wonderful news. It's more than wonderful news, but there are no words that can truly describe what this means for her.
I know my parents are probably feeling a feeling that no words can describe either. I am sure a thousand pounds have been lifted from their shoulders at this news. I can imagine there are smiles and laughs they are all sharing together.
To all my blog readers, thank you for joining me many times in prayer. I know many of you email me and comment me often at how much you think about Tamara. God grants miracles daily, my sister got hers today. It's a very good day for her.
The WHITE Family
Thursday, July 28, 2011
A few of his favorite things...
Last night Luke had my camera. So, I decided to play a game with him. I told him to take pictures of his "favorite" things and then I would print them out for him. He loves picture books and has a ton thanks to wal-mart. I wasn't to surprised by the toys he picked out to take pictures of. I probably could have guess about 3/4's of them lol. But he loved it and I already have a picture order placed at walmart :)
Monday, July 25, 2011
Jeter-Boy..
Justin's mom quilted this beautiful blanket for Justin! Right smack in the middle is a picture of his best 4 legged friend..Jeter Boy! True as the saying is, Jeter is his best friend.
Alaskan Salmon
My brother and dad just came back from a fishing trip to Alaska. My dad sent some salmon. J cooked up with spices, jalepenos , onions and garlic. It was delicious! Luke dove into that...he thought it was awesome that he could eat fish like the bears do lol
...take my hand..we'll be friends forever..
Me, Brie, Lindsay and Amanda! I met Lindsay & Amanda through wedding events with Brie. I absolutely adore both of them and we always have a good time when we are together!
Mine and Justin's best friends...Wade and Brie
Luke saw this dinosaur statue outside of Cafe J's and it become a must that he take a picture with it lol. His little pose cracks me up!One of my closest friends, Brie, came & spent the weekend with us in Lubbock this weekend. She is 1 of the most loving people I have ever met in my life. We had a great weekend! I know I have mentioned Brie many times in my blog before. We were both bridesmaids in eachothers weddings. We met 10 years ago when we came to Texas Tech and both rushed Kappa Delta. We have been best friends ever since.
1 of our favorite things to do together is EAT! So of course, we had an evening date to Jazz. Ate Josies burritos at 2am and of course had our ritual sunday brunch at Cafe J's. We do that date everytime she comes to visit! Mimosas and Eggs Benedict. YUM!
I was having a hard time sleeping saturday night, just had a lot on my mind. Brie came, jumped in bed with me, and held my hand. She told me..."Tara you take my hand, we'll be best friend forever. Whatever worry of struggle you have in life, always remember I am here." Then she scratched my back and I fell asleep. Justin and Wade always joke about having to sleep on the couch when Brie & I are together. She is just one of those friends that I can stay up and talk and laugh with all night. Then we play the switch game. I play with her hair, she scratches my back. Sometimes, there are just people that God puts in our life for a really good reason. She is one of those people.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
A love like no other...
I do not know how to write this post without crying, but I will try. Either way, it's okay.
My beautiful sister, Tamara, is my bestest friend in life. We are as close as sisters can get. Literally, we talk on the phone 5 times a day. We skype, facebook chat, etc daily too. And even though she has been living in Dallas, we see eachother every 3 weeks or so. She comes to visit us and we go down there a lot. It means the world to me that she comes and visit often. She puts forth so much effort to be a part of our life and Luke's life. It is a relationship that I will cherish and have cherished my whole life.
Now, on to the bittersweet part...she is moving 25 hours away.
I had to take a moment to wipe my tears and refocus. But, here I am to finish this blog for Luke. With Tamaras health, it has been hard for her to continue news reporting and working long hours. She has to have time to adjust to chemo treatments, resting and sleeping. FOX news in Boise offered her a main anchor position that she could not refuse. She gets to sit at the anchor desk. Which is a plus because it's very hard for her to walk around and carry cameras, mic's etc in field reporting. News reporting is her passion and it is a blessing she was offered this position.
Selfishly, I am sad. But, as a sister, I am happy for her. More happy than words can describe. She was in Lubbock when they fully offered the position with the contract! So, what did we do? We toasted a good CHEERS over margaritas and tacos at Chimy's! It was a great moment to celebrate with her.
My sister has traveled the world! I have spent 2 birthdays with her in Malibu, CA and 1 in Florida. Our family has traveled to Florida to have a great Thanksgiving with her. J and I spent 2 weeks of summer vacation moving her from Colorado and California and made many memories. Through all of those transitions, I was able to cope with the distance. I had valuable time with her at each location and shared many experiences with her. But, all of those were before Luke was born. That changes things. Luke and my sister have a relationship that no words can ever explain. They love eachother, they talk for hours to eachother. Luke is always in a great mood when she is around. She just makes him happy. When we shared the news with him, Luke cried. It broke my heart into a million pieces. He kept saying, "But I will miss her", "I already miss my T". So, Tamara and I decided to have a fun night with him. Her last night here, we took some pics at the big park. We chased ducks, played and laughed. That night, we ate some yummy Spoonful Yogurt. We came home from that and painted some pictures. (will post later) It was a beautiful evening, filled with laughs, happiness and love.
We will see T one more time before she moves. But, it will be a short visit on her way with my mom to Boise. I know Luke and I will have the time to spend a weekend with her in the fall but we will still miss her tremendously. I am so thankful for FOX for giving her an opportunity of a lifetime. I am, also, thankful for SKYPE, Facebook, text messages, chats, etc so we can still spend time talking with her daily like always.
I thank God every single morning for the relationships I have with my 2 siblings. I love them dearly and support them no matter what through every journey of their lives. I know Tamara will do GREAT as lead anchor! I love you T and Joseph!
My beautiful sister, Tamara, is my bestest friend in life. We are as close as sisters can get. Literally, we talk on the phone 5 times a day. We skype, facebook chat, etc daily too. And even though she has been living in Dallas, we see eachother every 3 weeks or so. She comes to visit us and we go down there a lot. It means the world to me that she comes and visit often. She puts forth so much effort to be a part of our life and Luke's life. It is a relationship that I will cherish and have cherished my whole life.
Now, on to the bittersweet part...she is moving 25 hours away.
I had to take a moment to wipe my tears and refocus. But, here I am to finish this blog for Luke. With Tamaras health, it has been hard for her to continue news reporting and working long hours. She has to have time to adjust to chemo treatments, resting and sleeping. FOX news in Boise offered her a main anchor position that she could not refuse. She gets to sit at the anchor desk. Which is a plus because it's very hard for her to walk around and carry cameras, mic's etc in field reporting. News reporting is her passion and it is a blessing she was offered this position.
Selfishly, I am sad. But, as a sister, I am happy for her. More happy than words can describe. She was in Lubbock when they fully offered the position with the contract! So, what did we do? We toasted a good CHEERS over margaritas and tacos at Chimy's! It was a great moment to celebrate with her.
My sister has traveled the world! I have spent 2 birthdays with her in Malibu, CA and 1 in Florida. Our family has traveled to Florida to have a great Thanksgiving with her. J and I spent 2 weeks of summer vacation moving her from Colorado and California and made many memories. Through all of those transitions, I was able to cope with the distance. I had valuable time with her at each location and shared many experiences with her. But, all of those were before Luke was born. That changes things. Luke and my sister have a relationship that no words can ever explain. They love eachother, they talk for hours to eachother. Luke is always in a great mood when she is around. She just makes him happy. When we shared the news with him, Luke cried. It broke my heart into a million pieces. He kept saying, "But I will miss her", "I already miss my T". So, Tamara and I decided to have a fun night with him. Her last night here, we took some pics at the big park. We chased ducks, played and laughed. That night, we ate some yummy Spoonful Yogurt. We came home from that and painted some pictures. (will post later) It was a beautiful evening, filled with laughs, happiness and love.
We will see T one more time before she moves. But, it will be a short visit on her way with my mom to Boise. I know Luke and I will have the time to spend a weekend with her in the fall but we will still miss her tremendously. I am so thankful for FOX for giving her an opportunity of a lifetime. I am, also, thankful for SKYPE, Facebook, text messages, chats, etc so we can still spend time talking with her daily like always.
I thank God every single morning for the relationships I have with my 2 siblings. I love them dearly and support them no matter what through every journey of their lives. I know Tamara will do GREAT as lead anchor! I love you T and Joseph!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Update on Tamara...
“Enjoy the peaks, but never forget the valleys, for there…in those low moments…the most important message is often taught.”
There it is on my calendar: A bright red heart highlighting July 14, 2011. No, I’m not getting married and it’s not the day I’ve finally decided to grow up and act mature. Nope, it’s something else!
For starters, it marks my brother’s birthday (Joseph) whom is one of my best friends in life, so I love sharing special occasions with him. It’s also the day I’ve finally qualified to have a new, state-of-the-start PET scan performed on my body (not to be confused with a CT Scan, X-Ray or MRI). Basically, they let animals loose to search all over your body (okay, I’m kidding, but that sounds cooler)! Anyway, a PET (positron emission tomography) scan is nuclear medicine; there are many different kinds of them, but the one I’m eligible for just arrived to the hospital, straight from NASA!
I emphasis qualified because this specific PET scan is simply not available to the average cancer patient. One must have completed two years of chemotherapy without success and THEN sit on a waiting list. Now, you can only imagine how grueling this must’ve been. “Geez, why is this taking so long?” I’d occasionally ponder. However, for the most part, I could careless because other pressing matters awaited and needed my time (Mavs playoffs, The Bachelorette and pedicures).
Until that fateful day arrived.
There I was, curled up, reading Luke the critically-acclaimed book “Bears In Underwear” – when my oncologist called with the amazing news: I, yes Tamara Metcalfe, (my doctor refuses to refer to me by my television because he says this is serious business), was accepted!
A short time later I arrived in his office! Dr. Houston Holmes was so joyful to share my acceptance, so I hugged him, screamed “Oh my gaw, how fun!” and then in my Apollo 13 voice squealed: “Houston, we have a good problem” and winked before leaving.
However, this was far from over! I was inexperienced on what this all meant, but wouldn’t dare let the doctor know I’m PET scan clueless! I’m a journalist; we know everything (duh)!
Therefore, like a top-secret spy, I quickly left and phoned the world renowned cancer researcher…Dr. Google…learning, indeed, this is a special day.
*************
All kidding aside, my family is really excited about Thursday, and I always want to share the news with all of you. So many of you have been along with me this entire journey, and it’s only fitting that I allow you to enjoy the momentous occasions, too!
The fact that I’m even free to open up and share these things is a process in itself for an extremely guarded person like me. I worked hard for my career, but suddenly found people looking at me with pity and sadness, like the ‘sickly cancer patient.’ I’d hear the whispers to my sister and mom everywhere we went: “How is she doing? Is she really okay?” Career-wise, directors and producers would ask my agent: “Is she still healthy enough to do this?” Privately, it really hurt me. Therefore, in the last few months, I quit doing interviews, chose not to provide everyone with all the details of my battle and turned down offers to blog and write about my journey. But then after watching 18-year kidnap victim Jaycee Dugard the other night, my soul was reignited when she said: “Survival is your strength, not your shame.” What a great message.
In September it will be the two-year mark since my diagnosis and one I celebrate. Although I’ve yet to reach remission, I’m extremely thankful that God has given me this platform of cancer and I live each day as if I’m perfectly healthy.
The disease is not pretty; however, it’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I mean it. Think of all the doors it’s open: for starters, I get to share my testimony of God’s unfailing love on an international platform with I Am Second. I literally get dozens of E-mails every single week from people across the country that have been recently diagnosed, watched my film and want to know how they can feel that same joy. It’s not about me. The joy only comes from the Lord and that’s when I get to share the amazing power of our Father. People can take away your happiness; however, no one can steal your joy because it comes from Above.
I also meet many survivors on a daily basis, some of them older, most of them children, whom have become like family to me. Those relationships would have never blossomed if not for this disease. Finally, my family and friends are closer than ever; we have an unmatched bond that allows us to celebrate life all throughout the year. Our conversations no longer surround petty, material things that society glorifies like money, fame and partying (except for occasional ‘Hold on Playa’ moments). Instead, we rally together, serve and just love people – year around, every single day.
My family and friends text each other about upcoming benefits or excitedly share a really touching church message that we just heard. We plan events and parties; not to go out and drink or eat dinner. We want our actions and tongues to have purpose and glorify God. Most of the time, we celebrate amazing people and stories we’ve witnessed along the way! I say this not to brag, but to also remind myself that life is much more fun when we rejoice! Live each day like you’re riding a rollercoaster, with your hands held up high, shouting at the top of your lungs as you anticipate the next turn! Enjoy the peaks, but never forget the valleys, for there…in those low moments…the most important message is often taught.
*************
Sorry, I had an Oprah moment…
anyway, back to the PET scan and why it’s vital. I’ll make it simple so you’re not bored (plus, if you’re still reading, you’re probably thinking: Geez, hurry up already)!
There are many different blood cancers: (lymphomas, leukemia, myeloma, etc). Within each blood cancer are different diseases. For instance, lymphoma: Hodgkin’s disease, Non-Hodgkin’s, etc. THEN, each disease is broken down even further. Get this...Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, alone, has 30 different types! Well, well....wouldn’t it figure, of them all...I have the incurable version (but cured in my heart)!
Dear Jesus: When I was 5 and said my biggest fear was "to be normal in life"...this isn't exactly what I had in mind. Thanks, Tam. LOL just kidding.
Doctors know (based on science) I’ll never technically go in remission; therefore, we attack my cancer to prolong my life. They know (statistically, by science) that it grows slowly and will eventually sneak up on me and attack like Japan did at Pearl Harbor. This usually happens in 0-5 years. Think of weeds in a garden; they sprout up and you spray them with poison (chemo). However, one day you come out and dadgumit, - those things got out of control and all over the yard! It’s the same concept.
So, you’re in a bind because you don’t know where you are in that time period. Some people wake up and wonder if it’s six months away or six years. This is where a PET scan comes in. CT scans look at your body as a whole and determine where the cancer has landed. Think of that scan like a helicopter surveying from above. My cancer is on both sides of my diaphragm and from head to toe. It’s also reached the bone marrow. Stay with me here…Well, A PET scan gets down on the molecular level. It gets right into a cancer cell and can look at the nuclear material inside. Some PET scans can tell you some pretty interesting things; those are the Scottie Pippens. However, my scan has some swag and doesn’t play around. It’s the Michael Jordan and Dirk Nowitizki of X-rays!
It will allow the physicians to predict when the Japanese will attack; until then, I can enjoy my days in paradise. This will give me a nice timeframe to prepare for my bone marrow transplant and upcoming treatments (I’ve already completed 20 rounds). It’s like coach coming in with a game plan - instead of going with a no-huddle offense! The days of just tossing the ball, hoping to score…are over. We don’t play. We’re going in with the West Coast Offense set scheme: short, quick passes, using all five eligible receivers, forcing tighter coverage…to annoy the defense into foolishness. Watch out cancer. We might set up you up for a short-pass or break tackle for a long gain…but don’t worry…we’re gonna gain!
Oops, sorry for the Vince Lombardi moment…moving on…
So there you have it, I’m super-excited! Granted, I have to lie still for three hours inside a machine without moving and that’s a problem in itself for a hyperactive person. However, I’m sure I’ll find a way to accomplish it, just like I figured out how to get an oil change without Dad last week.
Well, shoot, come to think of it... Mom did just provide me with some breaking news that will take up some of the daydreaming time. Apparently, The Bachelor has started a poll for the public to decide who the next bachelor should be! Eek! So excited…got lots of decisions to make inside the NASA nuclear X-ray!
Thank you for the prayers. To Mom, Dad, Tara, Joseph Justin and Lucas – you’re my world. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Holly, Stephanie, Sarah, Abby, Carly, Tracy Dodd, Erin Tracy Magers, and Kojo - My All-Pro Team. You each inspire me to never quit. I love you eternally.
Tam
There it is on my calendar: A bright red heart highlighting July 14, 2011. No, I’m not getting married and it’s not the day I’ve finally decided to grow up and act mature. Nope, it’s something else!
For starters, it marks my brother’s birthday (Joseph) whom is one of my best friends in life, so I love sharing special occasions with him. It’s also the day I’ve finally qualified to have a new, state-of-the-start PET scan performed on my body (not to be confused with a CT Scan, X-Ray or MRI). Basically, they let animals loose to search all over your body (okay, I’m kidding, but that sounds cooler)! Anyway, a PET (positron emission tomography) scan is nuclear medicine; there are many different kinds of them, but the one I’m eligible for just arrived to the hospital, straight from NASA!
I emphasis qualified because this specific PET scan is simply not available to the average cancer patient. One must have completed two years of chemotherapy without success and THEN sit on a waiting list. Now, you can only imagine how grueling this must’ve been. “Geez, why is this taking so long?” I’d occasionally ponder. However, for the most part, I could careless because other pressing matters awaited and needed my time (Mavs playoffs, The Bachelorette and pedicures).
Until that fateful day arrived.
There I was, curled up, reading Luke the critically-acclaimed book “Bears In Underwear” – when my oncologist called with the amazing news: I, yes Tamara Metcalfe, (my doctor refuses to refer to me by my television because he says this is serious business), was accepted!
A short time later I arrived in his office! Dr. Houston Holmes was so joyful to share my acceptance, so I hugged him, screamed “Oh my gaw, how fun!” and then in my Apollo 13 voice squealed: “Houston, we have a good problem” and winked before leaving.
However, this was far from over! I was inexperienced on what this all meant, but wouldn’t dare let the doctor know I’m PET scan clueless! I’m a journalist; we know everything (duh)!
Therefore, like a top-secret spy, I quickly left and phoned the world renowned cancer researcher…Dr. Google…learning, indeed, this is a special day.
*************
All kidding aside, my family is really excited about Thursday, and I always want to share the news with all of you. So many of you have been along with me this entire journey, and it’s only fitting that I allow you to enjoy the momentous occasions, too!
The fact that I’m even free to open up and share these things is a process in itself for an extremely guarded person like me. I worked hard for my career, but suddenly found people looking at me with pity and sadness, like the ‘sickly cancer patient.’ I’d hear the whispers to my sister and mom everywhere we went: “How is she doing? Is she really okay?” Career-wise, directors and producers would ask my agent: “Is she still healthy enough to do this?” Privately, it really hurt me. Therefore, in the last few months, I quit doing interviews, chose not to provide everyone with all the details of my battle and turned down offers to blog and write about my journey. But then after watching 18-year kidnap victim Jaycee Dugard the other night, my soul was reignited when she said: “Survival is your strength, not your shame.” What a great message.
In September it will be the two-year mark since my diagnosis and one I celebrate. Although I’ve yet to reach remission, I’m extremely thankful that God has given me this platform of cancer and I live each day as if I’m perfectly healthy.
The disease is not pretty; however, it’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I mean it. Think of all the doors it’s open: for starters, I get to share my testimony of God’s unfailing love on an international platform with I Am Second. I literally get dozens of E-mails every single week from people across the country that have been recently diagnosed, watched my film and want to know how they can feel that same joy. It’s not about me. The joy only comes from the Lord and that’s when I get to share the amazing power of our Father. People can take away your happiness; however, no one can steal your joy because it comes from Above.
I also meet many survivors on a daily basis, some of them older, most of them children, whom have become like family to me. Those relationships would have never blossomed if not for this disease. Finally, my family and friends are closer than ever; we have an unmatched bond that allows us to celebrate life all throughout the year. Our conversations no longer surround petty, material things that society glorifies like money, fame and partying (except for occasional ‘Hold on Playa’ moments). Instead, we rally together, serve and just love people – year around, every single day.
My family and friends text each other about upcoming benefits or excitedly share a really touching church message that we just heard. We plan events and parties; not to go out and drink or eat dinner. We want our actions and tongues to have purpose and glorify God. Most of the time, we celebrate amazing people and stories we’ve witnessed along the way! I say this not to brag, but to also remind myself that life is much more fun when we rejoice! Live each day like you’re riding a rollercoaster, with your hands held up high, shouting at the top of your lungs as you anticipate the next turn! Enjoy the peaks, but never forget the valleys, for there…in those low moments…the most important message is often taught.
*************
Sorry, I had an Oprah moment…
anyway, back to the PET scan and why it’s vital. I’ll make it simple so you’re not bored (plus, if you’re still reading, you’re probably thinking: Geez, hurry up already)!
There are many different blood cancers: (lymphomas, leukemia, myeloma, etc). Within each blood cancer are different diseases. For instance, lymphoma: Hodgkin’s disease, Non-Hodgkin’s, etc. THEN, each disease is broken down even further. Get this...Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, alone, has 30 different types! Well, well....wouldn’t it figure, of them all...I have the incurable version (but cured in my heart)!
Dear Jesus: When I was 5 and said my biggest fear was "to be normal in life"...this isn't exactly what I had in mind. Thanks, Tam. LOL just kidding.
Doctors know (based on science) I’ll never technically go in remission; therefore, we attack my cancer to prolong my life. They know (statistically, by science) that it grows slowly and will eventually sneak up on me and attack like Japan did at Pearl Harbor. This usually happens in 0-5 years. Think of weeds in a garden; they sprout up and you spray them with poison (chemo). However, one day you come out and dadgumit, - those things got out of control and all over the yard! It’s the same concept.
So, you’re in a bind because you don’t know where you are in that time period. Some people wake up and wonder if it’s six months away or six years. This is where a PET scan comes in. CT scans look at your body as a whole and determine where the cancer has landed. Think of that scan like a helicopter surveying from above. My cancer is on both sides of my diaphragm and from head to toe. It’s also reached the bone marrow. Stay with me here…Well, A PET scan gets down on the molecular level. It gets right into a cancer cell and can look at the nuclear material inside. Some PET scans can tell you some pretty interesting things; those are the Scottie Pippens. However, my scan has some swag and doesn’t play around. It’s the Michael Jordan and Dirk Nowitizki of X-rays!
It will allow the physicians to predict when the Japanese will attack; until then, I can enjoy my days in paradise. This will give me a nice timeframe to prepare for my bone marrow transplant and upcoming treatments (I’ve already completed 20 rounds). It’s like coach coming in with a game plan - instead of going with a no-huddle offense! The days of just tossing the ball, hoping to score…are over. We don’t play. We’re going in with the West Coast Offense set scheme: short, quick passes, using all five eligible receivers, forcing tighter coverage…to annoy the defense into foolishness. Watch out cancer. We might set up you up for a short-pass or break tackle for a long gain…but don’t worry…we’re gonna gain!
Oops, sorry for the Vince Lombardi moment…moving on…
So there you have it, I’m super-excited! Granted, I have to lie still for three hours inside a machine without moving and that’s a problem in itself for a hyperactive person. However, I’m sure I’ll find a way to accomplish it, just like I figured out how to get an oil change without Dad last week.
Well, shoot, come to think of it... Mom did just provide me with some breaking news that will take up some of the daydreaming time. Apparently, The Bachelor has started a poll for the public to decide who the next bachelor should be! Eek! So excited…got lots of decisions to make inside the NASA nuclear X-ray!
Thank you for the prayers. To Mom, Dad, Tara, Joseph Justin and Lucas – you’re my world. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Holly, Stephanie, Sarah, Abby, Carly, Tracy Dodd, Erin Tracy Magers, and Kojo - My All-Pro Team. You each inspire me to never quit. I love you eternally.
Tam
Friday, July 8, 2011
Mini-Vacation in pictures...
Visiting and swimming with my best friend from home, Bree.
Taking a trip to the zoo. Luke loved feeding the giraffes!
Swimming with Daddy in Nanny&Poppys pool!
We had a short, quick mini trip to DFW. Justin was happy to have a few extra days off work to play with Luke. We were low key, chill and relaxed. Spent lots of time with the family. Cooked out with my grandparents. The guys just got back from their Alaskan fishing trip so we chowed down on lots of salmon! (Yum!) Saw some friends, took Luke to the zoo and Hurricane Harbor. Swam at my parents...a LOT. Spent the night at a nice hotel just for fun! Most importantly, no make up, hair fixing, getting dressed lol. It was a nice mini vacation!
I love you bigger...
The news this week has been heart wrenching. I cannot even count how many times I have held Luke and told him I love you so much. To which he always tells me, "I love you bigger mommy."
He has no idea what or why I feel the need to give him a few extra hugs this week, but he always gladly accepts all the "lovings". Too many kisses and he starts growling at me and wiping them off. As for me, I am just thankful I can hear him growl at me.
This week, the news stories were heart breaking. My sister is a news reporter, so of course I have CNN on every chance I can get.
Story 1) Shannon Stone. The brave father, who was trying to catch a foul ball for his 6 year old son at the Ballpark in Arlington dies with his son watching. I cannot even imagine what their family is going through. What his son will remember from that day. I just pray and pray. I have spent so much time in prayer over this family. My stomach hurts. Literally. This story seemed so unreal. So fast, a father just gone. In a split second, his son lost his dad. Luke, you may not understand this until you are a parent, but I know every parent that has watched this story hugs their child. God only knows why such tragedy happens in life. I will continue to pray and be thankful that my dad never was hurt in his hundreds of attempts to catch balls for us at the Rangers game. That image is something I have seen mannny of times growing up. Dads have their gloves all ready to catch balls in the stands for their children. Being their "heros". Crazy how fast tragedy can strike.
story 2) Casey Anthony trial. I have many feelings about this. I struggle with the negative vs positive feelings a lot. But, all I know is, Caylee is with Jesus. Gods plan for their life outweighs our own personal feelings. I admit to being one of those people who have been following this story since day 1. Luke was only 2 months old when Caylee went "missing". I remember even then looking at him and wondering "why is that happening"? Well, apparently, we will never know why. I have just given that situation to God and allowed myself to have peace over it. I will share an excellent article my sister wrote over it soon.
Working out and praying has helped relieve some of the sadness for me. I am the type of person who hurts for other people. I tend to get vocal when I see children are being treated unfairly. I always try to balance and center myself in these situations so it does not consume me. If I don't, I will start loosing sleep and weight. I have no idea why I am like that, but I have learned to accept it and found ways to balance that. For me & Justin, we just try everyday to make sure our son knows how much we love him. No regrets!
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